Topic 1: Conflict in Our Culture
Directions:
In a comment, respond to one of the prompts below in 300+ typed words. Also be
sure to respond to a classmate's comment so that we can keep our classroom
conversation going.
Option 1: Most people have witnessed a
friendship fall apart, a family divide, or a global tragedy that spawns feuds
that last for several decades. Where do you think hatred begins? What measures
do you think can be taken to resolve arguments and alleviate hatred? Cite a
feud you have witnessed as evidence to support your argument.
Option 2:
In his poem "Mending Wall," Robert Frost repeats the old adage "good fences make
good neighbors." The characters in the poem have a stone wall--a literal
boundary--between their homes. What
types of boundaries do you think need to exist to maintain healthy
relationships? Cite examples from your
friendships and your relationships with family members to support your
argument.
Be
sure to answer all parts of the question fully. Your comment/response to my
prompt should be 300+ words. Your comment/response to a friend should be 50+
words. Your blog entries must be completed by 11:59 pm on October 7, 2012.
Many people have either been part of a feud or part of one. I have been both. Last year my friends and I got into a huge fight. It was over absolutely nothing but it still goes on till this day. I have also witnessed people fighting over boys or silly things like giving advice at a Field Hockey game.
ReplyDeleteAll in all I find that most feuds are due to misunderstandings and people taking things the wrong way. People can't even offer advice with out people thinking the wrong things. Some people think they are yelling or that person might think the other one looks down on them. Also when people don’t explain everything with the right words things could get confusing and someone think they were saying something else.
I find that if people don’t hold things in and make them boil up, there wont be as much hatred. If people take the time and nicely talk it out or say they don’t understand something they said fully, people wont hold it against each other. Just say how you feel and nicely talk the problem out. If people never say or explain how they feel nothing will get solved.
Once my friend and another girl got into a silly fight over a boy neither of them were dating. It was a bunch of he said she said. They were never direct with each other so nothing was ever solved. My friend thought the other girl considered the boy hers, but my friend had like him. The other girl also thought the other one was ruining her chances with him. If they talked it out they probably could have been friends, still to this day they hold it against each other.
Shannon, you explored this topic very thoroughly. Nice job.
DeleteWhere I think hatred begins is when people feel as though something is being done to them that they don’t hate. Hatred may also begin when people cause conflict to each other. Measures I think that can be taken to resolve arguments are people could try to converse with one another to try to resolve the argument there having. Another measure to be taken is that a person could apologize to that person to resolve the problem. A feud that I have witnessed was when me and my cousin used to argue al the time over something so stupid. As a lesson hatred is not a good thing to witness or be around. I think the world would be a better place if everyone would just get along.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your writing and how you included your own personal life because I could see that as one major reason. I also like how you added how you think you should resolve there issues. I think another great reason you had was about how the world could be a better place if every one just could get along. Really good job it really explains hatred.
DeleteHey Chris, I honestly loved your writing because you explained how hatred could be solved. I also liked how you put two examples of how that could be done. To add to that, I liked that you put an example of how you faced hatred with one of your family members. In conclusion, when you said this world would be a better place if everyone got along, I agree to that. I think the world would be a much better and more settle place if everyone got along.
DeleteChris that was an amazing response. I really connected with the story of your cousin. I agree with you the world would be a better place if we all got along. Hatred is not a good thing to be around any where. What you said in the begging is what is right. Hatred does come from people feel as though something is being done to them that they don’t hate.
DeleteChris I completely agree with you. The example of you and your cousin was almost the same as me and my best friend. We would fight over stupid things but eventually get over them. I also agree with how you said to resolve arguments people can try to converse with each other and find something to agree with. Your response was very well written.
DeleteChris i really agree with your response. It kinda reminds me about me and a couple of my friends arguing over stupid things. And yes it would be great if people just got along and had fun with their friends and not fighting everyday because its pointless
DeleteHey Chris, I really enjoyed your writing and can relate to your feud with your cousin.I have had many similar fights with my friends and family.I usually realize that it the fight was over something stupid.That is how I connected to your blog.
DeleteChris, I agree! We really all need to try and get along for the sake of our safety and well-being! Nice work.
DeleteI think that boundaries are needed because if you don’t have any boundaries there would be no common curtsey to people around us. We need boundaries so we don’t insult, hurt people’s feelings, or invade people’s privacy. When my door is closed my family knows not to disturb me. They see that I want to be leafed alone. That is a boundary between my family and the door being closed. We all have an agreement with that. This works well with my family because we all get along better and understand that we all need our personal space. Another example of a boundary with a neighbor which the saying states if we have a fence to show our property lines so we don’t plant or disturb their living space. With my friends we know when to stop messing with each other. Like knowing some ones boiling point and when to chill out and leave them alone. If we kept going on eventually they would burst and start a fight. With out boundaries that are understood we would not have a healthy friendship. You can’t burst out in public or cause a scene because you are angry you need to remember common curtsey and boundaries with people you don’t know. Imagine if everyone flipped out in public when someone annoyed them it would be a crazy world. So to wrap up everything I am saying we all need to have boundaries with family, friends, neighbors, and people we don’t even know because everyone has a boiling point and you need to understand the boundaries of people so they won’t cause a scene in public or even a conflict in between you and a friend. This way in life we are happy and have great lives having great friendships, healthy families, and peace in the neighbor hood.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way you do about boundaries. We have the same rule in my house, we don't need locks on our room doors, we just know if it is closed to knock. Also, you are correct about the fences, we had to double our fence here at our house, because one of our neighbors would let their children tease my german shepard and he would go nuts. We were afraid he would bust through one fence and into their yard, so we had to actually put up another fence so it would not happen. That is a perfect example of why you need fences, and in their case, gates with padlocks.
DeleteI agree with what you wrote. I just wish that in my house i can have my privacy when i am alone in my room with the door closed or even if i have friends over. No one knocks, they just barge in like it's their room. I hate when they do that and i wish it can change. When i need something out of ym sisters rooms i knock before going in, i don't just barge in. But with me they do, and i hate it. I'm glad that you can actualy have your privacy, unlike me.
DeleteKory, I enjoyed reading this response. You have a lot of interesting and introspective things to say. Nice job!
DeleteI like really feel the same when my brothers go in my room and when they disrespect my boundaries I placed out it really makes me upset. Boundaries are very important to me also because if there are no boundaries theres just chaos int he world so I like really agree with your statement. I also feel the same because when ever I'm not home my door is locked but my bother busts my door open just to get in and get something that was his. I just think that boundaries are a very good thing to have and boundaries are things that some certain individuals need to learn a lot about including my brother. so I like really agree.
DeleteIn my opinion, I think hatred begins with a little bit of drama. Usually drama happens with your closest friends, and sometimes your enemy’s. I think that hatred around the world should just stop. Hating someone does not make you better than anyone and it won’t get you far in life. To add to that, I think hatred can be solved by everyone just talking it out with each other. Just talking to each other about the problem/issue can help work things out. If people stop talking about each other and making rude and mean comments, this world would be a better place. Things would be more settle and complex if everyone just kept their comments to themselves. Saying something to bring someone down isn’t cool. I had a friend who got made fun of just because that person didn’t like her. If you don’t like someone, that doesn’t give you a right to say negative things about them. That friend of mine who got made fun of, she started cutting herself because of the bullying that was being done to her. It started affecting her whole life and nobody knew, but me. I was the one who had to stop her. The cutting became a habit and I had to help her find a new one. To this day, I still help her find a new habit. She stopped the cutting, but she is still depressed because of the hatred. Now, this is why the hatred should stop. It leads to things like this, and I don’t think anyone would want to be the cause of someone’s death or slits in their wrist. This world would be much happier, safer and just a better place in general if we put an end to this hatred.
ReplyDeleteMiranda, I totally agree with you. I wish people would stop bullying and putting people down. No one knows what someone else is going through. Also everyone deals with things differently. Htared just causes serious problems in their lives. I have actually shared a similiar experience with you and your friend.
DeleteMiranda, this is a moving response. You are a very good friend to assist your friend in overcoming her habit. Thank you for sharing your story.
DeleteI think hatred comes from the emotion that is hatred. It is really difficult to sometimes not hate. Some people natural hate people. They do this because they herd something about that somebody. Also sometimes friends have a fight and they start to hate each other. Then sometimes relationships break up and it is really brutal. I also think it is unfair that people that have a good friendship with other people have to suffer because you and your friend got into a fight. I think the measures that can be taken are many things. One thing is that we can dislike some one but we can try to all get along. Also we can resolve a problem by telling some one about the situation. Another thing is that if we do have an altercation go immediately to a parent, guardian, or principle. They will stop the altercation and put punishment in place. I think to alleviate hatred we should stop wearing clothing styles that offend people. Some people might get offended by a t-shirt that says something inappropriate. That is when people start to dislike each other and it turns in to something else. Last but not least we can resolve hatred by just getting along with each other. Like I dislike some people in our class, but I learn to just deal with it and try and get along. It is not that hard to try and get along with people. I had an experience of hatred. My friend and I were like best friends we would hang out every day. Then one day we just started fighting over some thing stupid. So we did not talk for a while my friend actually to me he hated me. So then we sat down and started talking. We both apologized and became friends again. It would be a lot easier if we could just all get along like nice little children.
ReplyDeleteTerrence, reaching out to an adult is definitely a smart idea. Having a third party to mediate a struggle is always helpful. Also, please do not use this blog as a forum to voice your dislike of your classmates. We are trying to build a classroom community by using our blog as a learning tool. Thank you.
DeleteSeveral people have witnessed a friendship fall apart. Usually when a friendship falls apart it is because of hatred. Within a friendship, there should be three most important things. I believe those three things are respect, trust, and loyalty. I think hatred may begin in a friendship if it is lacking one of the three things or maybe even all of the three things. In order to solve arguments in a friendship I think that you should discuss your argument and try to find something that the both of you can agree on. Also you can see a therapist or maybe just put the argument behind you and forget about it. When I was younger I had this one friend that I would hang out with every day. We would have pointless fights but eventually just get over them. Our parents were best friends as well. We never ever wanted our friendship to fall apart. On the weekends we would go out to different places and have sleepovers just about every single night. We had such a fabulous friendship. We even spent Christmas Eve together as well as New Years and even Easter. On Thanksgiving, both of our families would get together and have a feast. Suddenly, just a few years ago we had this big fight. We began to hate each other. Our parents got sick of us not wanting to see each other so their friendship fell apart too. It was just horrible. The one girl that I basically lived with and grew up with every day of my life was gone. I never talked to her again. Her mother tried to get in touch with my mother, but my mother ignored her. We would see each other in school every day, but still we wouldn't say a single word. Not even hello or bye. Still to this day I do not talk to her.
ReplyDeleteBrianna, I am very inclined to agree with you about the three important qualities of a good friendship. I enjoyed reading this thoughtful and well crafted entry. Thank you for sharing.
DeleteThere are boundaries that need to be in place to maintain healthy relationships and I do believe it is needed. It is nice to have friends just walk in the house, maybe, when you are little, but soon once your private stash of cookies start disappearing, or your favorite toys are gone, you realize the need for boundaries. So I think fences and phones are good, because it puts alittle distance between people and yourself. This prevents walking in anytime you feel like it. It is also part of your manners just not to walk into someone's home, but call or knock, this goes along with locks and rules. Also, making plans helps create boundaries, this way you know when to expect someone or to expect you. My cousin thought it was great he had a neighbor who would just walk in without permission all the time. After the first month my cousin started to seriously dislike his friend because he would come in early on weekend mornings, eat his breakfast before he could sit down, switch the TV channel, and borrow things without asking. They don't even talk any longer. If they would of had a few simple rules, the friendship would probably be still good and strong. I like having fences with gates because there is a boundary but there also is a gate to have people in at times for parties and visits. I like having wind down time before bed and if you have someone who keeps popping in when you are trying to relax it can get annoying. So in conclusion, Good fences make good neighbors.
ReplyDeleteJack, I enjoyed reading your response. You answered all aspects of the question in a clear and concise manner. Good job!
DeleteIn my opinion i think hatred comes from jealousy. what i mean by this is a friend could do something better then you and sometimes you may get mad and start treating that person bad. Hatred is also a natural thing because people just may not like people because of the way they dress or look.Usually when friends get into a fight over opinion or something stupid they will end not talking to each other.
ReplyDeleteHatred also comes around when good friends talk behind each others back. I have experienced this because one time i was with a friend and he randomly started saying bad things about a friend he was just hanging out with a couple of days . A lot of people will also try to look their best before they school and when they get there people try to put that person down to make them feel bad and people start to change the way the dress because of their feeling being hurt.I had a friend and we always fighted over stupid things because we both didn't have the same opinion and we would fight about it for hours they we would tell each other that we wouldn't hang out with each other anymore. If people didn't fight over stupid things and didn't listen to what bad things were said to them and listened to the people that had good things to say about them everything would be fine and a lot of people would get along.Bullying and Hatred lead to thins like suicide which is a bad thing.Because of people getting bullied they try to fit in with people and be cool and they start doing bad things that other people do because they want to fit. Just because you get bullied you need to stick up for yourself and not listen to anyone and don't try to fit in be yourself. Later on in life people will realize to not listen to any bad comments towards them they will just keep doing what they do and dress the way they dress and they wont pay attention to the people that hate them for no reason.
The feud that I witnessed was a best friends parents divorcement. From experiencing this I think that hatred can begin anywhere in life. Hatred can be caused by anything simply from saying one simple thing that can change someone opinion on you to something they hate. Hatred is not something you want to live with forever. Having hatred on someone is something you have to think about. You want to ask yourself, "Is it worth it." Should I hate them for what they've done." "Did he/she mean to do it." You can resolve this by talking to that person who "hates" you and see if they would commit into loving you or becoming friends with you again. This almost never works but its worth a try. They don't always have to accept your apology. With divorcements a family divides. Children begin to not talk to others or maybe even there parents. They begin to feel emotional and even turn into wrong decisions that lead into being hated on. This experience was terrible, now knowing what it is like to have hatred on someone can lead to tough decisions. To sit there and hate someone for days could lead into fighting for decades. I am sure that no child would like their parents, friends, or anybody to hate you or someone else. I simply don't even like to stand in the middle of my friends fight because they would ask me to take one side and I would just sit there and say I am not picking a side. For just simply not picking a side, they would hate me. I don't like being hated on or having to be in the middle of a fight that would lead to hatred.
ReplyDeleteI totaltly agree with you. Being in the middle of your freinds that you love and would do anything for is hard when it comes down to who side are you on. You dont want to let eighter of them down evan if one was right in every which way. So to be put in that postion where you could possibly lose a freind or freinds sucks,n ii don't think anyone would want to be hated over that.
DeleteThank you for sharing your story, Brianna!
Delete"Good fences make good neighbors", In my eyes freindships need certain boundries. Boundries such as agreeing on not getting angry over stupid things, not letting certain situations come between you. Also i think you and your friend should agree on not hanging out all hours of the day everyday 24/7. Because humans can be annoying if your around them too much. And if your freind is annoying you wont want to be around them at all and your freindship will be broken. Another big boundry is you must care for your freinds and not be angry if they disagree on something. For example i had this one friend we used to hanout all the time. But then slowly started to break apart, now we talk a little bit. This happened because we started to do different things. Its okay to hangout with other people but you should mainly stick to one freind who you know will have your back. And dont get me wrong have as many friends as possible. But make sure you stick with those few true friends. Family you can always depend and count on. But there is some boundries to be drawn so you can stay a strong secure family. Boundries such as not being disrespectful and caring about your family. If you disrespect yoour family you won't be able to communicate very well with them. not being able to communicate with them can make things very difficult. If you do not commmunicate with your family you will not stay strong. And last when you care about your family they will care about you back and that will keep your family civil strong and secure. If your family is those three things your family will be happy. And hapiness leads to no stress. No stress leads to a very successful life and family.
ReplyDeleteJake, this is a very thorough and thoughtful response. I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing!
DeleteHatred can begin from many emotions including jealousy, anger, and many others. Hate can start from the littlest problems or can start from life changing events. Most times hate begins over petty things that are not that important or relevant to life. There just things that you should of let go but, for some reason did not. Sometimes you have to take a step back and think is hatred the right response for the situation or conflict. Most of the time you will realize that you over reacted to the situation. To stop hatred you have to talk about the problem and solve it before you lose a friendship, relationship, or even lose a relationship you have with a family member. Talking is one of the best ways to deal with a problem you have. If you talk about it you will feel better about yourself and you will feel better about the situation or conflict.
ReplyDeleteI have witnessed many fights and arguments through my life. I have even been part of arguments and feuds myself. I remember a few years ago I got into a heated argument with one of my closest friends over something very childish and silly for no good reason. We didn’t talk for months until we realized how stupid we were both acting. That is one of the countless times I have had an argument, fight, or feud that was unnecessary. I could have easily dealt with the problem in a simpler way and just confronted the person and talked about the problem with them, instead I kept it to myself and got more heated about the situation. Now I realized that there is better ways to go about things than just keeping it to yourself. It can help you a lot in life to learn to let things go. You won’t be as stressed in life and you won’t have as many problems if you just talk about things.
Brian, this is brilliant. You answered all parts of the question and conveyed your thoughts in your writer's voice. I am very impressed. Nice job!
DeleteHate is to to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; detest. It's kind of hard to make someone feel that way about you but it happens!It takes u to do the worst of the worst for me to hate you. Hate is to cause the water in ur stomach to boil every time u see them.It's all about the respect equally given not to cause hate.Without the mutaul respect hates all around.Hatred rips lifes,freindships,familys apart.
ReplyDeleteI think hatred starts deep deep down where nobody's ever been or taken u to,or where u dont want to be pusd to. Having hatred toward somebody is not caring at all ,not one bit.
I think that overall hatred is formed from drama out of all reasons! Drama is everyone's problem. Some people just cant get enough of it for some odd stupid reson. Drama is like money and make's the world go round,without drama there would be no hate, But without drama the world wouldnt be the same! I guess certain things or people are meant to be hatted. An exsperiance I had with hatred is towards a kid from my old school T.R north. Not going to say any names but this kid pushed it until he couldnt push anymore.he was so jelous of me And my bestfreind james. we had the girls,populrity,respect that noone else would ever recive. WE were just does kids to be cool with,but i gues he didnt like it.He wanted to be exactly like me overall he wish he had james as his bestfreind. He couldnt stand the fact that i was n still am the closet to him,he justed hated it. So he would decide to cause drama and fights. He would start rumors about that were out of this world. I gave him so many chances to stop but he just wouldnt. Main reason i have this hate towards him is telling james stuff that drew us apart for some time.me n james are freinds now but not as close as we were till this day. I wish i could take back whatever it is that i've done for him to do this but guess not.........
Sin City, thank you for sharing your story. This response lost focus in a few areas. In order to better complete your next blog, try to answer each part of the question individually. Some of this is written in a very poetic fashion that I greatly appreciate.
DeleteSo it all started about 14 years ago. My parents moved into our house and within about 2 months the horror began. One evening my parents heard a taping noise on their screen and when they looked outside there was a chicken pecking at the screen. It turns out that our new neighbors brought their farm with them when they moved in. The pecking wasn’t bad but the chicken poop was out of control. Oh and then their dog decided to make our lawn his place to do his business. Boy was my dad was mad. He approached my neighbor and tried to get him to put his dog on a leash but no luck. As the years went by it just got worse between his loud parties, screaming kids and obnoxious yelling my dad had to bite his tong. At one point they did become friends. They came to an understanding. Actually my dad is his daughter’s god father, imagine that. About 5 years ago it all came to a head when his kids destroyed a newly put up fence. When my dad approached him, calmly, he was rude and just did not care. I have learned that it really takes two people to work through their problems. My dad was always very patient and tried to be a good neighbor but at some point he just gave up. I think that hatred begins when one person is doing something against you. When you try to face the person about what you don’t like you want that other person to understand and change or at least compromise. When they don’t it just boils up inside you and becomes true hatred. Both people need to see their part and admit to it. I guess after seeing this first hand the best way to deal with this is to just keep to yourself and stay clear of the person. Hey I saw it all first hand and by the way they finally moved. Thank goodness.
ReplyDeleteHatred starts with something wrong that you did ,but some people don't know how to relate with that , they act without thinking what to do about it.
ReplyDeleteThey think they can solve everything with fights , cursing , killing each other, etc.
I think if something wrong happens between each person the best way to resolve it is talking. Because many times people start fighting over silly things that are not even true. They take things the wrong way, and sometimes the fight starts between people that dont even know each other, like from other schools.
Fights can cause serious trouble, because if the person who is attacted has nothing to do with the problem, she is being bullied for no reason.
Girls these days get really jealous, and boys are the same.
In every school there's fights between boys and girls because of their relationships.
In Brazil something really sad happened that has shocked the population.
A couple were toghether for 4 years. They started dating in middle school. They were really happy with each other.
But some new guy came to their school, and he fell in love with her. He started sending her flowers, cute cards, chocolates, and many other gifts.
The girl was scared because she didn't want to end her 4 years of relationship.
So she decided to talk to the guy, and tell him that she didn't want anything to do with him.
But rumours started in the school, and people started telling her boyfriend that she was cheating on him.
She tried to explain to her boyfriend that she was only telling him that she doesn't like him. But he didn't listen, he got angry. Because he loved her so bad, he decided to kill the guy. But he also killed himself, because he was still upset thinking she was with the other guy.
The girl didnt know what to do. She got so depressed she said to herself she couldn't take it anymore, the pain was too much.
She killed herself. Her parents found her in the bathroom with a rope and her boyfriends picture on the floor.
And this is why i think people need to talk first before they act or something really bad can happen.